You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
