Say something about gay babies.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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