I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
