dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
