please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
