i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
