i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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