You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
