I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
