Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think i have herpe
just one?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
