Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
