One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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