I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
