I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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