the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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