What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
