MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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