Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
