He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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