look no pants
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
