i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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