I am in a vortex of obligation.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
