She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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