what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
