Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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