I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
