I smell stomach acid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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