so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
