just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
