i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
