Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
