can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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