just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
