I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
