talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
