I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
