I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
