my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
