I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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