I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
