I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
