Michael Bay diarrhea
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
