i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
