I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
