You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
