You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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