Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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