You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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