if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
