just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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